Author: CtrlAltNoob

A Noob’s Review – My Time at Portia

My Time at Portia is a game with many flaws, but if you can look past them then it can be an absolute delight. I feel like Portia is ideal for the people who love Stardew Valley/Harvest Moon type games but find the farming tedious after a while. These aren’t the only type of people who might enjoy this game, but if that resonates with you then it could be worth a shot! Not only through the first few hours but throughout my entire playthrough, I was constantly surprised, confused and amused by the stuff I would find and the things that would happen, leading to the affectionate nickname of ‘My Weird Time at Portia’.

– Doesn’t know what it wants to be

When I first started playing My Time at Portia, I got the sense that it didn’t know what it wanted to be. Games like Stardew Valley have a lot to do. You can farm, craft, cook, mine, forage, fish, create relationships. I feel that all of these things are key to the slice-of-life farm sim genre that these games are part of, which is already quite a lot of things to do. Portia is similar in that sense, except, add a main story, side quests left right and centre, dungeon crawling, named boss fights, a full on skill tree with three entirely seperate sections to go down, a photo menu, a workshop manual, a research system, a fluctuating economy, social mini games, regular mini games, festival mini games. It is a lot, and for a while the main thought going through my head was ‘What on earth is this game’.

+ Something for everyone

Though the absolute muddle of things to do and potentially overwhelming vibes this game gives out, the bright side is there is probably something for everyone. If you are like me and enjoy the systematic collection of things and ticking things off lists, you can do that. If you like making friends with everyone in town, you can do that. If you like spending your time decorating your home rather than completing commissions, you can do that. If you like dungeon crawling and fighting for loot.. I can’t say that I recommend it but it is there. More on that later!

– The jank

Before you even think about playing this game there is something that you have to accept. This game is Janky. And I mean Janky. Sometimes characters speak out loud, sometimes they dont, when they do it is generally awful. Sometimes they will say the right words, sometimes they will say something entirely different, sometimes they won’t actually be there while they are talking. Sometimes the camera will focus on weird things. NPCs are constantly stuck on the environment and will occasionally teleport. Photo quests break often. Mounts become unmountable. The game does a lot and generally it works, but with love, I do have to say that it can be quite a mess.

+ The jank

On the other hand, if this game didn’t have its Jank then I don’t think it would be half as memorable than if it were perfect and smooth. If you have a mount they are going to be running around in the background of every cutscene. When you get past how awful some of the cutscenes are they become hilarious and you look forward to the next one. When creating my character I couldn’t figure out how to change her name on console so she ended up being Linda. I gave her some pink cheeks that looked nice in the character creation menu. As soon as we got into the game though, it turns out those pink cheeks basically glow. Every day in game, something in the world is going wrong and it was a constant source of glee for me. A lot of the Jank is graphical or in the animations, and they can be the best.

– The combat

Okay… if there is something that I have to give my biggest criticism in this game, it is the combat. I don’t enjoy combat at the best of times but I can usually appreciate it if done well. It isn’t the end of the world since this game isn’t about combat, but you have to do it often enough that it can become frustrating and tedious. There is no feedback, or at least it tries to give you feedback through visual effects, which in the end just feel like a mess on the screen. I genuinely cannot tell when I am getting hit. There are numbers popping up but there is no feeling to it at all. Sometimes you can hit through or be hit through walls. Sometimes the enemy ends up in the air and doesn’t come back to the ground. Timing doesn’t feel like it matters much and when it does it can be frustrating. Hit boxes are hit and miss. AI companions will run at enemies and agro them when you are trying to draw them out one at a time. Thankfully, if you die during a boss fight you will respawn without their health being replenished. This is a mercy that I am grateful for, but it almost feels like confirmation of an awareness that the combat isn’t the best. Throughout the main story you will be put into multiple combat scenarios. As long as you keep plenty of health replenishing items in your inventory then you can tank your way through without too much pain. It can be a huge drag though.

+ Low stakes

I think what I love the most about this game are the low stakes. Sure, there are optimal ways to play and you can min/max if that is how you like to do it. But if not, there aren’t really any punishments for going slow. The only things that are timed are daily commissions (which you can choose to do) and very few quests/side quests. Other than that.. go nuts. Fancy spending an entire week in the mines? Go for it. As long as you have set your machines away there is really no reason to come home at night, so you can pass out at 3am doing whatever you were doing and wake up with full stamina the next day without losing anything. This all makes it really easy to pick this game back up even if you haven’t played for a month. I really appreciate it when I compare it to say, Stardew Valley, where I don’t want to boot up my game without my notebook in hand because I need to stick to my plan.

+ Crafting

I believe Crafting is a really clever way to solve the problem that I mentioned in the intro. By the end, I usually find farming really tedious in these games. Having to water everything every day, plant them at the right time, harvest and replant, then if you miss the window you have to wait an entire year. I always pray for rainy days so that I can go and do other things. Instead, in this game you have to gather materials and process them, to then craft them into different items. Different materials can be processed in different ways, so it is up to you to manage what you have, what you need, and that is the loop rather than plant, water, harvest, repeat. It is much more flexible and, for me at least, enjoyable.

+ Progression

The fact that I already enjoy the crafting is doubled when paired with progression in this game. Throughout the main story you will get many different commissions to help make the city a better place. If there is something I love in a game, it is an environment that evolves over time. Not only does Portia do that, but it only does so thanks to your efforts. Building bridges will allow you to access new areas. Building busses will unlock fast travel. You will build buildings and areas that from that moment onwards will be a permanent part of the town. It never stops being satisfying. On top of this, the crafting progression itself also feels nicely done and natural to me. Once you are able to build everything available, you know that you will then need to upgrade your equiptment to unlock more options. If you have options available that you dont yet have the materials to build, you know that your next quests are going to unlock an area that allows you to access new resources. It is a cycle that repeats throughout the game and works very well.

+/- Relationships

I don’t really know where to place relationships here. There are things I really like and things that I really dislike about them. On the positive side, relationships bloom themselves as you progress through the story, which I think is very naturally done. As you help improve the town, the townsfolk will like you more. As you do commissions for individuals they will like you even more. Then as you grow relationships with them you will start to get cute little side quests which I found to be a nice touch. Becoming friends with certain vendors will get you discounts, and you will occasionally receive gifts from your buddies.

The relationship system is let down in two ways in my opinion. Firstly, I don’t think it’s very fun. There is the traditional system of giving the person daily gifts that they like which isn’t bad, but it isn’t great. Then there are some more unique systems, most of which didn’t land for me. Some characters have their own minigames you can play, some can spar (see combat above to explain why this doesn’t hit) and once you become their friend you can go on playdates (or proper dates if you are romancing). After I had done two dates I was already bored of the system and just wanted go back to old fashioned gift giving. Secondly, when it comes to romance, I don’t feel like there are many good options, specifically for husbands. I didn’t really want to marry anyone. Six of the options are identical. Having kids is as far as you can go down the family route and they don’t grow up from being a toddler. So relationships in general in this game are a really mixed bag for me.

+ Attention to detail

The attention to detail in this game is great. While some systems feel unnecessary, there are others that add to the overall charm of the game. My favorite thing is that anything you are holding, your character will be holding it in their hand. If it’s big they will carry it over their head. Most accessories that you can wear for stats you can also see on your character. They didn’t have to do these things but it really adds to the experience, and it will always be funny running along carrying a giant poop above your head.

– Navigating crafting

Navigating the crafting systems does not flow well, and while you do get used to it, it could be better (and I believe they may have solved this in the sequel). For example, if you are assembling a big product, having the ingredients in your inventory will not do. They have to be directly in your hand to place them. Eventually you get some automation options but it is so late in the game and unintuitive that I have to mark the game down for it. When I don’t play for a while, the hardest part is reacquainting myself with all my stuff since I need to know where to grab things from.

+/- Festivals

Something else to watch out for in this game are the festivals. Many slice-of-life games have them.. But none of them have them quite like this.

++++ Pinky

And the final positive point of this game, saving the best till last. Pinky. 

There are a lot of reasons to like this game and many surprises along the way. As long as you know that you are going into a very imperfect experience and are open to some fun, there is such a good time to be had. If you like what you heard above then you should definitely jump in. If you claim the free games on the Epic store you may already own it, or it is currently on the PS Plus Extra Tier and Xbox Game Pass. The Sequel ‘My Time at Sandrock’ is in Early Access right now so it is the perfect time to jump into the series.

  • – Doesnt know what it wants to be
  • + Something for everyone
  • – Thejank
  • + The jank
  • – The combat
  • + Low stakes
  • + Crafting
  • + Progression
  • +/- Relationships
  • + Attention to detail
  • – Navigating crafting
  • +/- Festivals
  • + Pinky
I did stream my first few weeks in Portia, I’ll leave this here in case anyone is in need of misadventures.

Sign up now to stay up to date with the latest posts!

Channel Update – August 2022

Guys, I have hit a video block. Remember when I had all of those ideas? Reviews.. Guides.. all of that? I have put substantial time into both of those things but I haven’t finished either, and what I have made.. well.. it’s just bad.

My style just doesn’t suit edited content. I can’t read a script. I mean, technically I can, but it sounds stiffer than my neck after a bad nights sleep. Something I tried to combat this was making notes and free styling. This definitely helps me to get my point across but the videos end up far longer than I would like, even once I have edited them down. I made the decision to stop making Let’s Plays so that I could focus on other things when truthfully, they are the only video content that I am good at. That doesn’t mean this was wasted, I have learned a lot. It also doesn’t mean I am jumping straight back into making them because I still have other things to try.

There are more things on my list that I have still yet to try, and given the results of my experiments so far, these might be much better suited to the way that I think and how I like to make content.

Podcasting | I like long form conversation and I generally have a lot to say about games. If I try to condense things too much like I have in the videos I’ve tried to make, I end up losing my point and my personality. What I love about podcasts is that they can be whatever you want them to be, and as long as you stay relatively on topic then there is plenty of unscripted time to say what you want to say. The only trouble with podcasting is that I really do think they are their best when they are a conversation. I can’t imagine anyone would like to listen to me talking to myself in that way. I thought about solving this by having guests, but I’m not even sure that would work. I have been listening to a bunch of Duckfeed TV and Gary and Kole have a great thing going. They listen to eachother, they support eachother, their subtle communication works so well and ultimately, they are both passionate about what they do. Having another person feels not only essential for the quality of the end result, but also for the support along the way, bouncing ideas back and forth and sharing the workload.

Writing | Writing doesn’t often come naturally to me. I usually need to be in a specific mood at a specific time. I have no idea how professionals manage to make magic with their words every day, on demand. But, the advantage of writing is that I can take all of the time that I need to shape my words into sentences that actually make sense, without the worry of having to do that on the spot or how I sound. I don’t have the most diverse vocabulary, I dont have the best spelling or understanding of punctuation, but I also don’t have the best speaking or reading skills and that didnt stop be from becoming a streamer. What I do think I have is my own unique tone that is easy to read and who knows, maybe with practice I will get better at those other parts too. The drawback is that there is probably even less of a demand for my writing than there is for anything else I could do. I’m not sure anyone will be interested in reading. Having said that, my videos aren’t popular either so it seems worth a try. At worst, I get the idea off my mind, discover I hate it or develop my skills. At best though, people enjoy it and something comes of it.

The reason I am writing this is becasue I need to let go of the video ideas. Despite everything I have written and the want to let it go, I clutch onto the hope that maybe I can make something good. The ideas constantly circle around my head, half formed, taking up space as a fog that never takes form, clouding the way for anything else. No matter how much I want it, I have to accept that I suck at scripts, I find editing a chore and the glimpses in my head of what could be are not translating into the actual content. Let’s Plays and Streaming suit me well because there is no script, minimal editing down, just pure thoughts. Perhaps the things above will too. So it is time for me to move on and try new things. I’m just sorry there is nothing to show to everyone that is supporting me.

Sign up now to stay up to date with the latest posts!

Basaran – The Ninth Colossus

Shadow of the Colossus.

More Shadow of the Colossus Photography

More Video Game Photography

Sign up now to stay up to date with the latest posts!

Let’s Play – Exit/Corners

Exit/Corners is a free-to-play browser based visual novel, which you can play yourself here. The mysteries keep on coming as we puzzle our way out of a hotel that is set to collapse with a colourful cast of characters. Created by a tiny team, I do implore you to give this one a go, whether you are playing yourself or watching my series below. It is an interesting one!

Full playlist available on Youtube!

Guest Appearance – Left Behind Game Club – The Nonary Games: Virtues Last Reward

I joined the Left Behind Game Club once again to continue our journey through the Zero Escape series. If we thought 999 was mind bending then we needed to buckle our seatbelts. Virtues Last Reward is the sequel, upping the ante in every which way possible! Beware, this episode is full of spoilers and I recommend playing through the series yourself if you have any interest at all!

Available on your platform of choice!

This episode aired on 15/06/2022. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Left Behind Game Club and give them a 5 star rating if you enjoy their content, it helps them out and they definitely deserve it! Have a scroll through their content and I can guarantee there will be some episodes for you.

Let’s Play – Zero Time Dilemma

We completed the Zero Escape series with a full playthrough of Zero Time Dilemma! It took me a while to get used to the different style of this one, but once I did, I was all in. A fun entry to a fun series.

Full playlist available on Youtube!

Future Project Ideas

As you guys probably know, I find juggling everything I do hard, but I always want to do more. The update on Sunday talked about regular YouTube plans but I have a craving to make more content about games I love. I’m just not sure in what format or when I would do it, so consider this just me throwing my ideas out there without any plans of actually doing them yet. I guess I’ll chat about them in the order I have been thinking about them.

Idea 1 | The first – and the closest to almost having come to fruition – is a Podcast. I love talking about games, and I love listening to podcasts. I don’t really listen to variety podcasts or news or anything like that, I like game club Podcasts, where a group of people play the game and then talk about it together. Everytime I finish a game I do a search on the Podcasts I listen to (Left Behind Game Club, Watch out for Fireballs and Cane & Rinse currently) to see if they have an episode and listen straight away. I enjoy being taken through the game via another’s eyes and experiences in another medium. A problem that I run into, however, is that often the games I am looking for have not been covered. When I am not done with a game and I can’t find anything to listen – as daft as this sounds – I struggle to move on. I would love to be able to take my favourite elements from my favourite podcasts and reshape them into my own, so that I have a place to celebrate the games I love. I would like it to be long form with a heavy focus on the narrative of the game and the different elements of the game that help to create that. I would like a spoiler free section at the start to sell the game to anyone who is curious, then dive deep into the spoilers and what they mean. I would like to talk about a lot of the games that I maybe have a different perspective on that others, with guests who also love the games. I have put a lot of thought into this one and don’t know why I don’t take the plunge. The worst thing that can happen is that no-one listens but you know.. that is no reason not to try!

+ Already did quite a chunk of planning

+ Closure for the games that I have a lot of thoughts about

+/- Quite a bit of work

– I’m not convinced that anyone at all will be interested in listening

– These are much better with more than one host, it should be a conversation, not a monologue

Idea 2 | The second thing that I have spent some time thinking about is a YouTube series called something like ‘A Noob Guide’ (except there is already Noob’s Guide on YT 🙃). A lot of my YouTube views come from some little walkthroughs of Overcooked that I made years ago. What I would love to do (but has probably already been done) is do a series of short videos helping people either new to a game or new to a genre or whatever. The game in mind being The Binding of Isaac, but then with other games being options in the future. Part of the whole point of my channel was because I was very new to games and exploring what type of things exist and experiencing them for the first time. To this day I am still finding new genres that I love. It is undeniable that I have noobish qualities, so it just feels like a nice fit to do a series for noobs, from a noob. Because I am such a noob, I may be able to explain things in a way that would help other noobs that may be overlooked by veteran gamers. This would be something heavily edited and informative rather than for entertainment.

+ Did a bit of planning

+/- No idea if there is a demand for it on the internet

– Isn’t necessarily for the current community

– A tonne of work

Idea 3 | The most recent thought I have had is some sort of review series. Not for new games though. I haven’t thought of a name because I have barely thought of a format yet but some sort of backlog review series, or a look back in time, something of that sort. Again, the purpose of this one would be to celebrate the games that I like and show off why I like them (while also being critical). At first I was thinking three minute reviews but someone already does that too. Then I was thinking maybe something a bit longer. Then I realised I have been watching a lot of Skill Up I just wish I could make content like him 🤣. So yeah, not a lot of thought has been put into this one except some sort of highly edited thought pieces on some games I have played. Way shorter than a podcast but probably the same amount of work when it comes to editing a video.

+ Doesn’t need to be on a specific schedule

+ Could use a +/- format that I enjoy

– No planning done

– Lots of work gathering footage and editing

– I suck at reading a script

So, there is a little look into my somehow both over and under productive brain! If anything comes of any of these is yet to be seen, if anyone has any opinions please do let me know. Putting things out there is scary because little interest = probably shouldn’t bother and interest = pressure. On the other hand though, neither of those things would just be ignorance and I think it is better for me to know what others think, if anyone does, and if not then I guess I can take that as freedom to try anything!

Ideally I would like to try all of these but I have to budget my time in accordance to where I make my money, so streaming has to come first. In that sense, Let’s Plays and Indie Showcase would go into the same category as the ideas above, which means I really have to be choosey about what I do. But while I am on a roll with streaming and recording I cant get these ideas out of my head!

Sign up now to stay up to date with the latest posts!